Posts Tagged ‘emotions’

*Giving too much effort on someone can be frustrating, specially when it’s not appreciated.

Silence …. a simple word that leads to many reasons

UPDATE: 07.13.11

A word that simply leads to many…

  •  Don’t know how to react.
  •  Nothing GOOD to say.
  •  Too Lazy to speak.
  •  Means to an END.
  •  Avoiding conflict.
  •  Not a CARE in the world.
  •  No one ever Listens.

……….. SILENCE.

…. what else is there?

*Exception, when done something, even with no words, rather nothing at all.

He greets everyone even from far away lands,

while I listen and do not mind.

But hearing those whom he values and appreciate

Often leaves me feeling small and nothing.

Would it killed him to show some appreciation?

All I ask is a little recognition,

I don’t speak much,

but I listen and support never the less.

I’ve lost faith to ask for songs,

for many times I try, he never listens or acknowledge

Should I not care?

To get rid of my despair.

How long must I try.. trying to be heard.

For all is mention, that leaves nothing else to say.

Some people can easily kills your spirit,

depends whom you look up to..

I just lost mine….

Sometimes, I feel that most DJ’s or other media related,  just seems too stuck up and fakers.. They seem to be so enthusiastic and sounds energetic but, their personality are  somewhat dismay and snobbish. I do have my favorite DJ’s and I guess Koji isn’t my top best anymore. It sad that he doesn’t really cares for me, even he knows how much I adore him or showing some support by focusing only him. I never made any custom message or greetings to any DJ’s except for him.

When I like a person, I have a tendency to make something out of my own effort. I do take time to make something, to let them feel that they are special to me and it hurts me, not hearing anything of recognition, like I never exist.

For me, to be acknowledged by someone who I admire, is more than enough to be happy and a sense of gratification that fulfills it.  It measures the value of ones person to the other, like a self-worth and everybody just wants to feel important. Is that too hard to ask of him? I never for money or love.. just even an ounce of care from a fan.

I hear him on radio, yet his voice is so empty. It felt that time passes by during his shift and I never felt that he ever came on-air. He still poke me back, (whenever he feel like it) but it’s nothing for him. He never reply all my messages before, that came to my senses to lessen it and I just felt that I don’t have anything to say. . .  I just lost the eagerness to know him…


Though she sits alone in darkness, she prays for someone to love and be loved.

Loneliness is an unpleasant feeling in which a person experiences a strong sense of emptiness and solitude resulting from inadequate levels of social relationships. However, it is a subjective experience.[1] Loneliness has also been described as social pain – a psychological mechanism meant to alert an individual of undesired isolation and motivate her/him to seek social connections.[2] -reference

The word seems so familiar to me and yet seems strange.. that I had to look for a definition to it, just to understand. There are times that I do feel lonely, in spite the people around you, you still feel empty inside and practically dead.

I have checked my previous artworks, since most I’ve done reflects on how I feel and my mood. It’s true most that I wrote and done are about sadness and pain, but not because that I’m alone… it’s because of the people who caused me sadness that disappoints me from friendship and family… and only now I realize that I don’t think about living the rest of my life being alone, though I definitely feel it… I still hope and pray that someday I will meet a guy who will love me true and all that dreamy aspect of it.. or maybe my soul mate will come for me, but just died… who knows what each and everyone holds for their future.. Of course its sad and even scary to be alone, for it is every person fears it, other than death. But I guess the point of being alone is to understand deeper yourself and trying to change on how things would go and don’t let that loneliness pull you down or even lose yourself in the process for the sake of companionship.. for sometimes being alone gives you a peace of mind. It’s how you handle yourself, emotionally, mentally and spiritually.. never lose that hope of ever finding the right person for you and ….for me as well, but as we wait.. don’t think too much of it for True Love finds its way when it is the right time. It’s not to be rushed.  I know it sounds cliché , but that’s how life goes. Do not let other dreams held back in living your life to the fullest for we have only one. 

UPDATE: (June 3, 2011)
This article is about being alone in a sense of not having someone to love and wanted to be loved, a companionship, but just lately, I didn’t realize that there are people who do feel lonely, in a sense of sex… Man! (I’m such a… blank.) Yeah, I kinda understand that sense of depression or a problematic scenario, though I honestly can’t relate to that feeling since I never done it… the urge of having sex… it really doesn’t concern me.. I have my own problems which is more important than sex..
Anyway, I do know someone who take this problem way too seriously that often finds herself crying for she misses her ex-husband and “feeling lonely” that she’s afraid to be alone, (probably no sex for a long time). Me and other of her friends often tell her that she don’t need to think about those stuff, since she has a lot more important things.. like taking care of her daughter. But sometimes… no matter how we say the right thing or give good advice, in the end… we, ourselves are the ones who make a choice. To be happy or lonely.. is basically all in the mind. No one wants to be sad forever… and no one will.

*NOTE: I decided to write about being alone, since I read something of it…. maybe some people do feel lonely in a sense of a sex thing.

Have you ever felt the hopelessness even if it hasn’t even begun, that all you can possibly do…….. is cry.