Posts Tagged ‘abandon’

You said I can come with you today
To visit a special grave
No word, no call, no message or form
I wanted so bad for me to see
A place, even if it’s hidden to society.
I cried waiting for you to show
but you’re gone, like you don’t even exist.
My heart is in pain.
I wanted to die!!!
I don’t know where you are
I don’t know what you do
I’ve attached myself to you
and I’m afraid I would die
because you are not at my side



After a long pause of writing in WordPress.
I’m back – Going to stop writing my notes in Facebook since I just want to get away.

Last weekend (long weekend) was one of my painful experience. Too much emotional distress that I actually got sick because of him.
I was crying the whole day from the pain in my heart that I felt left out.
And even now, it still hurts just thinking of it.

Runny nose, coughing, migraine – right side, back of my head, chills, feels like I got a fever, but I’m at work and even if slept, the following day I still feel the headache. I took a medication but it’s not good. Felt the pain again, but it’s tolerable now unlike before – every time I move, head hurts. I lost weigh even I ate some a cake. And I thought I gain. Sometimes I don’t feel like eating, even I have some chocolates in me.. I don’t know, maybe later or something (we’ll see) Thirst. I dreamed of drinking too much water – I don’t know if it’s connected but everything I’ve experience in my emotional distress is all here. Dreamed also my late grandmother – As I recall, she was just finished watching a movie and I was preparing my stuff with the help of my mother for school since I’m late.

Nothing but tears of pain. After everything I have done for him, I end up nothing. Many have said that he’s not worth it, but how can I leave him when love blinds me? Even if he have nothing, I just can’t leave him and that is the sad true that I am going through, because I don’t want to loose my life, to be broken, to feel even more pain when he’s gone in my life. To remain nothing more than just a dead memories of the past.