0817

I happen to be online and show myself in my list in YM. I forgot I can stealth myself to just one friend whom I choose.

We chat, and he did send me his latest pic, since we never often chat for the past 2 years.. probably he’s invincible and busy and I never open my YM that often… I remove my yahoo messenger app at home long time ago. I don’t see any point in keep an app that I don’t use. It’s just a waste of good space and I just don’t have that much friends anyway. Facebook keeps that list already.

For 2 years now, its good to know I’m still connected to those people who had been my friend. though we never talk that often or see much of ourselves, still those I keep still have a good place in my mind.

One person did manage to chat with me, and it just brought back sad memories once again.. and made me cry (crying) since I already left that person’s friendship behind long ago. He still saw me online… and I didn’t stealth myself today. we chat short.. says hi and hellos… etc. then we both speechless. so I told that I will sign off and he said sorry…

(Sometimes apologies doesn’t change anything. It only give that sense of relief to the person who says it, but it never really fix anything. What is done is done and it can never bring back that same magnitude of friendship as before. I don’t have any grudge in people who had caused me pain, sadness, humiliation or deceit, I just simply let go of them. – The only people who can ever hurt us more is the one close to us and I decided to leave them in my past. I use to have a best friend whom I’ve known for 10 years or more and in that situation. Everything change and just stop. We drift apart ’til I just let go… I have given up on people who use to be close to me once and then some situations just happen, even small things can cause that friendship to break and usually I’m the one who gives up on that friendship. I may have less close friends than anyone or no best friend at all, its because I just gave up on it. )

He told me that why sign off, just because both of us is not talking… at least each of us can see we are “online” (long time I have removed him in my YM list, so technically I don’t see him online or off. )
and I wrote.. I usually contradict that he wrote.. then in a few minutes.. I said goodbye and sign off.

WHY? For me, there is no point in being online if you are not talking to anyone. I don’t need to wait for someone to talk to me or wait for someone to talk to them… I don’t talk very often, so being online is not my thing. I usually stealth myself to all.. but as of now, I simply don’t open my YM. I only open my YM because of a friend whom I haven’t heard for 2 yrs. I’m not that bothered to be forgotten by others. It is ok as long as I have them in my Facebook… it’s fine.. even we don’t talk as long as they value my friendship.. The memories of them remains good to me.

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