0615 Koji Realization

Just now, as I was checking some stuff in facebook and I had a 2nd look at the right side of the screen where pics of friends are shown. I checked the photo album of Koji that was shown and I saw his family, his son, wife (I guess but looks young like a daughter) and others that was taken 3yrs ago (2008). I knew he had a Latin/American blood in him and his son looks just exactly like him (6 or 7yrs old I guess)  … I never checked all his photos since it’s freakin’ plenty and I never expect to have his fam in them since he got  800+ of people in his list and the cover is a sponge bob, so I thought he wont share anything of his family..

I expected that he has a family, it’s just that I never anticipated to see their pics. I’m thinking “Thank God I didn’t express any sexual intent in all my freakin’ messages and made a total fool of myself..” In spite of having a huge crush and admiration with the guy, I still respect him.  I feel kinda… ….. stupid and ashame to even have a crush with a married men.

Why didn’t he mention that when he is on-air? Some DJ’s shared also their personal live with their listeners and it’s that is good.. I find that to be courageous of them to give some infos about who they are as a person and, not just being a  DJ. Few nights,  there is one DJ (Lu Skywalker) who shared his ex-gf experience on-air I’ve read in their facebook,  since there’s a topic discussion about online dating.. and he was dumped over a guy over the net long time ago. 

Sharing experience not only for listeners but them (DJ) as well is showing some trust and that a huge deal for me to admire and like them.  It shows the human in them eventhough they are in a higher level status among the ordinary people like me.. I also admire those who shows their real character, to be pissed, to be hurt, and not like being too goody and saintly. (I hate those)

Anyway… back to Koji…. it’s kinda….  sad actually to confirm and seen his family, because it means that  my feelings towards him will be gone, before it turns totally loving him…. Should I wrote hima message again informing that I have seen his family? Should I stop poking him and sending messages and cute kitty kisses pics? Crap! I even send a sorta poem last time.

Koji.. Koji.. Koji,
Oh where, oh where can you be?
Listening to music is not the same without you.
How long must I wait, to hear and see you once more
Days gone by
Many sleepless nights,
Just thinking…. thinking of you.
For I truely missing you so
Oh why did have to go?
……..<sigh>(oh boy, I think I’m loosing it..
Definitely gonna make something out of this)I just hope everything is good… I miss you.. ♥♥
Again, I have no one to inspire me from my day to day life struggle. … and to think I accused him to have a romantic relation with his other DJ.. and one time, I thought he is gay… :D…
(day dreaming)If I were to ask if I would still like/love him even if he has a kid but no wife/ divorse, …that will be fine with me… 
(Man! I’m dellusional… like we have a relationship going on)

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